Funny Mother’s Day Quotes

You have always been the witty child of your mom. So amusingly express your affection with a couple of funny quotes on Mother’s Day. Or you need something not too sentimental but can brighten up your woman? These hilarious words are just perfect.

• “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” – Lisa Alther


• “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle


• “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” – Calvin Trillin


• “It’s not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it.” – The Golden Girls


• “Sweater, n.: garment worn by a child when its mother is feeling chilly.” – Ambrose Bierce


• “A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge.” – Unknown


• “Whenever I was sad, my mother knew how to make me happy. When I was happy, my mother knew how to celebrate.” – Jennifer Willings


• “Motherly care is all about fixing boo boos and fixing tears when our child is hurt.” – Sarah Peters


• “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” – Oscar Wilde, “The Importance of Being Earnest”


• “Only mom knows which way to slice a sandwich so the flavor doesn’t leak out.” – Unknown


• “To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” – Maya Angelou


• “When superheroes don’t know the answer, they ask their moms.” – Unknown


• “Ah, babies. They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” – Tina Fey


• “Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” – Nia Vardalos


• “Mom: I love you and your super long voicemails.” – Unknown


• “Every day I wake up and think: How on Earth did I become this much like my mother?” – Unknown


• “Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.” – Unknown


• “Motherhood: Powered by love. Sustained by wine.” – Unknown


• “Nothing is really lost until mom can’t find it.” – Unknown


• “Having kids makes you look stable to the people who thought you were crazy and crazy to the people who thought you were stable.” – Kelly Oxford